Chinese Proverb

"It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins."

Twins: One of a Kind!

As the mother of twins, I try to spend alone time with each child as much as possible. It’s not always easy to do, but the undivided attention is as good for their emotional wellness as a plate of broccoli is for their physical health. As my girls get older, they crave this time more and more – and have started to ask for it. Though a solo outing to a park, a museum or even the grocery store is ideal, it’s not always possible. On these days, even a few minutes of snuggling in another room can be a panacea for feeling overcrowded by a well-meaning sibling, and a wonderful opportunity for bonding with mom.

 My twins love each other. They take care of each other at home and in school, and save for the occasional meltdown over whose turn it is on my computer, they play beautifully together. When I give one a piece of chocolate, she always asks for a piece for her sister. When I buy one a new dress, she immediately starts to look for one for her sister. You get the picture. Because of this special bond, it is easy to fear that separating them from each other, even for short periods, can diminish the “twinship.” I promise, it doesn’t. If anything, the absence, as the saying goes, makes their little hearts grow fonder.

Last night, I took one of my daughters to dinner with friends; the other was tired and stayed home with our nanny. When we walked through the door at the end of our two-hour outing, her sister was ecstatic. They embraced and squealed, “sissy love is forever.” Any guilt I had about leaving her at home evaporated when I saw how much they appreciated each other after a short separation. The next day, I made a point of taking the one who stayed home on a solo outing – a walk to town for ice cream. I know she loved being alone with me, sharing stories and secrets, and I loved being able to give her my full attention while enjoying her beautiful individuality. 

Twins are, by definition, a unit, but they are two unique individuals with their own personalities and preferences. Like all parents, I feel that I know my children better than anyone. But when I am alone with each of them, I see different, subtle parts of their personality that sometimes get overlooked in the noisiness of life. They, in turn, love having center stage. After all, they may be twins, but they are one of a kind!  

On Being A Mother

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." - Sophia Loren

Tooth Be Told...

Confession: After my five-year-old daughter lost her first tooth (YAY!), I lost her first tooth ($#*@!!). I dropped it into a small plastic bag, labeled it with thick black marker, and placed it on the kitchen counter until she felt it had been sufficiently admired by everyone who crossed the threshold of our home.

A few days later, the bag disappeared. I scoured the house and burrowed through bags of stinky trash, but with no luck – it was gone. As a sentimentalist who saves everything from my kids' first finger paintings to my positive pregnancy test (also in a plastic baggie), I was completely heartbroken. How could this have happened? My aunt had given me a beautiful ceramic first tooth box for precisely this occasion – what possessed me to forsake it in favor of a Ziploc? 

A few days ago, my daughter lost her second tooth and I was determined not to give it the same fate. Though it is customary in some cultures for children to throw their baby teeth to the sky or on the roof of their houses while making a wish (see carton above about Nepal), I prefer our traditions of saving them for the Tooth Fairy (aka Mom). This second tooth is also in a plastic bag, but this time it’s in my jewelry box. After all, it is as precious to me as the diamond earrings beside it.